Youth Ministry-- What MUST Die (Cont.)

*If you haven't read "Youth Ministry-- What MUST Die" please do so before continuing*

I agree with Mark Oestreicher and Mark Driscoll when they talk about belonging. Mark O. wrote a quick article in Group Magazine recently about the new Youth Cultures needs and at the top of the list is belonging. Mark Driscoll in his book The Radical Reformission discusses how the old pattern of evangelism was: " Know Jesus, then belong" but today we need a new way or "Reformission" as Mark calls is that looks like this: "Belong, then know Jesus".

Killing the old way of evangelism and adopting what I am calling "pre-evangelism" does just that: allows the teen to BELONG first. This is what they need and this is how Jesus did ministry.

Take a look at the story of Zacheus for example. He belonged to no one. He was a Jew who stole from Jews by working for the Romans. He wasn't a Roman but a dirty Jew. He had no one to claim him. One day, as he's fighting to see Jesus, he climbs a tree. Jesus walks by and gives him immediate belonging. He invites himself over for lunch! While already belonging with Jesus, just being with him in relationship causes Zacheus to change. He (during the meal with Jesus) tells how he's going to give back all he's stolen.

Take another look at a different story. The woman caught in adultery. The men drag her out of the bedroom where she was committing adultery (why didn't they grab the man too??), throw her before Jesus and demand justice. This woman has no belonging. She is unloved and unwanted by everyone. She is just a whore to the world. Jesus protects, defends and loves her and in an instant gives her belonging. After all her "haters" walk away, then Jesus tells her to leave her life of sin.

The stories go on and on about how Jesus used this type of evangelism; the woman at the well received belonging just by Jesus breaking a couple "cultural barriers". The list is numerous all making the same point that Christ didn't always have a huge crowd to preach to, he simply brought Himself to people, went to parties and was present and that was enough.

This change in outreach is by no way easy. It wasn't for me. I constantly questioned is this the right way Lord? Am I blaspheming? I always struggled with giving a quick "Jesus talk" or not during an event. I also got blow back from the Church parents and rightfully so. It was then I deeply studied how Jesus did ministry and was confirmed within my spirit from His that this was the right course for this time. I shared this with the parents in my ministry and some of my biggest critics became my biggest cheerleaders. It took a year and a half to get my Church kids seeing the value in it and then owning it. It put a lot of pressure on the kids that knew Christ. They had to step up and decide to truly live Christ-centered lives...and they did! They stepped up and owned it, as did my leaders. So, don't hear me saying this is a cake walk...but it is needed.

I am thankful for Mark O. and Mark D. for hearing God's voice on these issues and then writing about them. I've been practicing these principles before I read their books, but God has confirmed again through them that this is a good, new, necessary path for Youth Ministry.

Thanks Guys!

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Youth Ministry-- What MUST Die

I've been in Youth Ministry as a student, leader and now pastor for 13 years. I've experienced tons, both as a student and as a leader. I've seen things work and things fail. I've done some amazing things that students loved and I've done some stupid things that students hated. I've also noticed a shift in ministry. Many have talked about the depth of the change such as MarkOstreicher in his book: Youth Ministry 3.0, Andrew Root in his book: Revisiting Relational Youth Ministry and Mark DeVries in his book: Sustainable Youth Ministry. All of which give amazing insight on what we need to do as Youth Ministries to shift with this change.

Once such change we need to make is the way we approach Outreach. There's a new buzzword: "Pre-Evangelism" that I've been implementing into my Youth Ministry. It may not be a buzzword anywhere else, but here in NY it works. It has worked so well, that I've seen many students come to Christ through this effort. I will share one students story so you can see the effect I'm talking about. But before, I want to define it for you.

Most outreach events look like this: BIG event, where we encourage all of our teens to invite other non-church teens. Sometimes we trick them into bringing more non-churched friends by saying things like: if you bring 5 or more friends your name will be put into a raffle to win an iPod (not a good idea BTW, I'll discuss this later). So, we have all these new teens we try to impress by our BIG event. We have an over-abundance of food, prizes and fun activities. THEN, it happens. We have a worship time and a speaker (as big a speaker as our budget will allow) and he tells these heathen kids about Jesus and how they need to be saved.

This approach has worked in the past! I'm not saying it was never effective, but now it isn't. Many people asked me why I think this is ineffective. Here's why: it comes off as disingenuous, fake and scam-like. Teens were invited by their friends who didn't want to really bring them but wanted and iPod (that's why it's bad), some of these teens were extra "add-ons" by the people who invited them so they could meet the 5 person quota (another reason why the raffle thing is a bad idea). Then it was marketed to these "friends" as a BIG event with tons of fun. When they get to the event, they feel tricked, because no one mentioned a time of worship or a speaker. These teens are so put off by the trickery of it, they tune out the speaker and never want to come back to your group. Do kids come to know Christ this way? YES! Is there a better way to not only bring them into the Kingdom, but to get them closer to Jesus? YES!

The "Pre-Evangelism" approach would be a similar event (or a simple movie night, x-Box tourney or the like), without the 5 friend quota raffle and without the worship and speaker time. You are probably thinking: "take out Jesus? Take him out of the equation? Are you nuts? That's blasphemy!"

The thing is this: the friends that were invited are going to be closer friends to the teens doing the inviting. These teens then walk through the doors of a safe-God centered place and feel comfortable. They don't feel tricked. They then go away with a good time all the while hanging out with Christians. This type of event breaks the stigma that all Christians are boring freaks. And Jesus is NOT out of the equation, because the friends that brought them are Jesus-Followers who are now demonstrating how to have a good time, while being Jesus-Like.

This then gives this teen a RELATIONSHIP with You, the other Youth Group teens and the church itself. That teen now trusts you and WILL come back.

The student I mentioned earlier came to a movie night...where we JUST watched a movie. He realized that this place was safe, the students liked him, talked to him and encouraged him to come back to regular youth group where they told him about the talk time so he wouldn't be surprised (This is key! They need to know if they come back what they will experience). HE CAME BACK! He felt so loved and comfortable that he said he couldn't NOT come back. He began engaging with the talk time, asking questions about faith, love and Jesus. He began reading the Bible, doing devotions and seeking God on his own! His family didn't like him coming because they are strong Catholics and they were noticing a change in their boy. YET HE CAME BACK! He loved baseball and his parents gave him an choice: Youth Group or baseball. He CHOSE YOUTH GROUP! That one event changed this kids life and all we did was create a safe environment for him to come and be loved on. He has since given his life to Christ and felt a call to Ministry!

He's only one story out of many in our ministry who has been effected by this "pre-evangelism" approach. It's intentional relationship building. It's authentic, upfront and meaningful. We need to kill the trickery that goes into evangelism...teens see through it and despise being tricked. They desire authentic people, not phonies and when we "trick them into Jesus" they feel lied to and it perpetuates the churches name of being "phony" even if we had the best intentions.

Remember, this "pre-evangelism" event can be a simple movie night, bowling night, or basketball night. It doesn't have to be big budget stuff. You could plan it for next week even. I truly believe that in order to see un-churched teens walking through our doors, we need to change the way we do things. This is just one simple change in outreach approach that I've seen go a long way for both our churched teens and un-churched teens!

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Bi-Vocational Youth Ministry

It's funny how, when I typed into google images: "bi-vocational ministry" this little lego guy juggling legos popped up. I liked it and thought it true that bi-vocational ministry is a lot like juggling.

I've recently re-entered the bi-vocational world and it is harder than I remembered. I was a full time pastor for a little over a year, and in that time I forgot about my "bi-vo" days. Now, I know that this is only the beginning of my new "bi-vo" time and it will get easier as time goes by for me to figure things out and re-organize my life, ministry and work schedule.

One of the major benefits to this new development is the fact that I can get a 50% discount at Chili's, since I work there now! I now take all my students to Chili's when I take them out to eat. It is now only SLIGHTLY more expensive than McDonald's, so it's a nice treat for the teens. I believe in relational youth ministry and for me a HUGE piece of that is one-on-one time with students eating and talking.

One of the disadvantages to bi-vo ministry so far has been my time with my wife. This is an area I desperately need to find a way to manage. I have spent very little time with my wife since starting my bi-vo time. One of the ideas I had was to go to my wife's work (she's a 2nd Grade teacher) and have lunch with her on days that this is possible. I think this will show her how much I care and also will allow us to spend some time together.

Another advantage to bi-vo ministry has been my time to write...well not yet but I believe it will be soon. I have about 4-5 hours by the time I wake up until the time I need to be at Chili's for the lunch shift (the times change). This leaves those open hours for my writing and reading. This excites me because I need my time to write out my thoughts, and read some good books that will aid me in my journey to getting closer to God.

The reason I'm writing this blog is to share will everyone, including Bi-Vo or Full time Youth Pastors that bi-vo ministry is possible and it can be a good thing. I was reading Rev-Magazine about 3 months ago where they discussed the issue of bi-vocational Youth Ministry and I remember laughing at it, scoffing at the idea...little did I know God was ready to humble my haughty position.

Being a man with a passion for cities, I recognize my Urban Youth Pastor brothers are mostly bi-vo youth guys. They have to put less time into their youth than I do and they still run successful, Christ-filled Ministries that are not only growing in their relationship with Christ, but numerically as well. This whole event of going back down to part-time has really changed my perspective on a lot of things...especially bi-vo ministry. I hope that we can cultivate an attitude as Youth Pastors and leaders that will help guys like me who find themselves in bi-vo ministry.

What ideas can you think of that would bring about some effective assistance to bi-vo ministries? Maybe some ideas to help minister to us who are in bi-vocational Youth Ministry?

Also, don't be like me who so easily scoffed at Bi-vocational Youth Ministry...it is a necessary piece of our churches and if the Rev Magazine is right, we are soon going to be seeing a lot more bi-vo ministers than we have in a long time...

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Christian Writers' Market Guide 2009

Publisher: WaterBrook Press
Paperback: 560 pages
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0307446433
ISBN-13: 978-0307446435


The Christian Writers' Market Guide is indeed the Essential reference tool for the Christian writer. I know this, because I am myself an aspiring author who has been helped tremendously by this work. This book is full of resources that have been compiled for the past 24 years. Sally Stuart has been writing these guides for 24 years and has only gotten better with each year. This book is more comprehensive, more detailed and better laid out than the past years. It includes 1,000 markets for written word, 416 book publishers and 98 literary agents among other things. The amazing thing about these guides is that not only does Sally do all the leg work of finding out who the current agent is for each an every publisher, she also lays out which publishers are accepting or not accepting unsolicited manuscripts. This is key for especially for those who are like me, new first time authors. I've never been contracted, and publishers who are not accepting unsolicited manuscripts would simply throw my manuscript in the trash. This book helps me NOT waste time.

Also, this book has a great advantage in its development of a CD that perfectly compliments the text. At the end of the book is an exhaustive index with everything in the book as well as what is on the CD. It is well laid out, easy to find and better than last years edition.

Last year was my first year of delving into Publishing. I contacted a few people, one being Terry Whalin who told me I needed to buy this book (2008 edition). I did just that, I studied it, I used it and am now currently awaiting a publisher to answer my query while hoping I get a contract! SO when I say this edition is better, it's because I know it is.

I haven't even begun to mention how helpful this book is. There are numerous helps for authors, from freelancing to blogging alliances. Whether you are a first time author or an old guy in the game this book will help you again and again. It is a must buy for all authors, it helps you hone your skills as well as gives you the contacts of the very people you want to hire you!

On the back cover of the book, here is what is outlined:
- 1,000 markets for the written word
- 416 book publishers (33 new for '09)
- 654 periodicals (52 new for '09)
- 98 literary agents
-121 new listings in Resources for Writers
-226 poetry markets
-316 photography markets
-25 African American Markets, and
- 166 contests (29 new for '09)

Trust me when I say this book is a must have for any writer and even photographers in the Christian Market. If you have a great idea for a book...don't let it go by, get the tools you need starting with this book, get out there and write your book, because only you can!

Below is a link to purchase this book. You could also click on the picture of the book for the same link.

http://www.amazon.com/Christian-Writers-Market-Guide-2009/dp/0307446433/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1232947687&sr=8-1

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The Gift of Psalms

The Gift of Psalms is the most recent release of the Word of Promise audio series. This is different from any audio bible series I've ever encountered. It is set up as a 50 Day devotional, both in print form and in audio form. The audio is done by many well-known actors whilst the devotional reflection on each Psalm is written by Lori Jones.
I've never been one to pop in the audio Bible and simply listen to a person read the Bible to me, but I found myself doing that with this series. I enjoyed the fact that Thomas Nelson also included the devotional reflection on the audio. Most audio Bibles of this nature wouldn't include that on the CD's. The acting voices, the music and the reading are as the English would say: "Spot On". It is very well done, and well written. I enjoyed this book cover to cover and audio track to audio track.

The one thing that struck me about this series is you can now have a devotional while driving! If you have a CD player in your car, you can go through the Psalms, while reflecting on them on your way to work. As a pastor, I hear people always telling me how they wish they could have a devotional time in the car while they drive, but don't know how. I will recommend this as a way of doing just that!

The layout of the book is this way: The Psalms are on the left and the devotional reflection is on the right, both the Psalm and the reflection take a page each, making this a 101 page book. It is easy to read and on very high quality paper. The only thing I didn't like about the book itself is that the title of the Psalm and the title of the devotional reflection were in a really flowery font that for me was hard to read. I was surprised at the quality of paper that Thomas Nelson chose to use while keeping it priced at only $20.

This is a devotional that I believe will help commuters as well as readers alike to come closer to God. Well done book ad very well done audio make this a top rated devotional experience!

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.3

Part 3 of the Lorena Bobbit series and the last segment. I've discussed how this series was spawned in my heart and mind by reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and how I was simply taking some ideas he brought up in the book ad interacting with them here. This is the same as all the other three entries. His third "man-need" was every man needs a Beauty to save. John talked about the innate desire we men have to rescue the damsel in distress, search out a worthy woman and rescue her. This is why he says that in most "man-films" not only is there brutal, bloody battles, there is a romantic twist where the hero must save the woman, or must love a woman...Somehow, somewhere in these "man-films" this is true. Take for example Troy, Helen of Troy is the catalyst for the fighting. Gladiator has two woman, one is the dead wife of Maximus that he is romantically avenging, and the other is the Princess of Rome who has an attraction to Maximus. The list goes on and on.

My point is this: I agree that this is an innate piece of manhood. However, it's hard for us to detect it and more often then not, it gets men in trouble. It gets men into trouble because when it comes to a Beauty to save, our brain overlooks all things but the beauty we wish to save. This s both highly romantic and highly stupid. For example, a young boy who loves a young girl. The young girl hates her house and wants to be rescued away. The young boy, seeing his opportunity to free the young girl, steals her away one night on a romantic whim, they move in together and...usually the story doesn't end with "and they lived happily ever after..."

You see, I got lucky! There was no real BIG issue of rescuing I did for my wife Hilary. we started dating when we were 16...I stupidly broke up with her TWICE during our relationship. She took me back both times and now we are happily married, with a son on the way! However, I learned early on that I could be her hero in serving her, loving her and treating her right. We men have an innate saving complex so much so that when our woman have troubles, we try to rush in and fix it. I'm slowly learning when this is OK, and when I need to simply listen...

What's my point? Where is Lorena Bobbit in here? Well, Lorena doesn't want to be rescued. She doesn't let the man be a man and save her. I said I got lucky, because my wife let's me save her, she allows me to be her hero and tells me I am such. But so many woman try to do it on there own all the time. Pushing away their husbands, not letting them be their hero.

This is not to say at all that woman are weak and can't help themselves...I'm simply saying that when the World of Woman tell the World of Men: "I don't need you...EVER!" it emasculates them. Feminism is good and feminism is bad. The past 25 years, woman have been standing up for themselves more and more...which is good and needed...but they've also been emasculating men more and more. In feminists attempt to have respect, they've slashed at the men who truly wanted to rescue them, love them and be there hero. Men need to hear the words: "You're my hero" and when they don't they shut down.

This world is full of emasculated men wandering around looking for the thing to make them men. They don't step up to rescue even their own children...it's sad.

I am thankful that my wife lets me save her. Has she ever told me she doesn't need me? Yea, but she lets me be her hero. I'm a lucky guy!

This is why fathers who have daughters love to be the hero to their daughters...they feel manly in the protecting role. This is why men call out their boys to protect their sisters. Men, it's OK to be men ad want to rescue your ladies. After all, the ultimate MAN, Jesus rescued us all, who are His Bride!




If you are interested in reading Wild at Heart whether you are a man or woman, I encourage you to do so. Trust me it will help you understand manhood and boyhood with a clearer picture than without reading it. Either go to the library and pick it up, or click on the picture below, it'll take you to a link where you can buy it.

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.2

If you haven't yet, read "The Emasculation of Men" and "Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt. 1" before proceeding.

Satan loves the spirit of Lorena Bobbit. He enjoys watching men be stripped of manhood. If he could, he would emasculate all Christian men making them fearful beings who never put up a fight. What we all (woman included) forget is that every day, we are in a violent, bloody war against Satan. If he could make us calm, little puppies instead of fearsome lions, he could make a HUGE negative impact on our lives, our churches and our world.

In the movie Troy Brad Pitt plays an ego-centric, violent, angry, frustrated warrior named Achilles. He is an amazing warrior, who has a following of the Mermadins (the most feared warriors in all the known world at this time). On his way to wage war on the city of Troy, he gives his men a pep-talk. He reminds them how much the people fear them. He revels in their victories and he then says: "We are Lions". He says this with such passion and strength that after the men remember they are lions, they start shouting and getting violent.

In this Spiritual war, we men need to step up as the Lions we were always meant to be. Not neutered lions either! When a lion is neutered, he loses all passion, all desire and he's content to be tame, docile and lazy. Jesus is called the Lion of Judah and believe me...he's "No Tame Lion" (C.S. Lewis The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe). He's a Lion ready to pounce on the enemy, rip his guts out and spit them on the ground!

Men, we all have a battle to fight! A great pastor named Mark Driscoll reminds us men of this on his blog (http://theresurgence.com/). He has soldiers, boxers and other such men appear on his blog, talking about being violent men...for the Kingdom. Why have we lost our desire to go into battle and wage war on the enemy? Lorena has been in the Church too long.

Men! The Armor of God is ours to wear! Jesus is our commander, reminding us of how he has won battle after battle. We are Lions and we don't have to be "tame"! Let's meet Satan head on, let's be with people who need Jesus and fight for their souls as you would a dying comrade on the battle field. Why have we lost this vigor? We've been tame for far too long.

However, don't go into battle blindly! Read Ephesians 6:10-18. Keep Your Swords Sharp!

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Guard Against Lorena Bobbit Pt.1

In my post "The Emasculation of Men" I discussed my recent reading of Wild at Heart by John Eldridge and how it positively effected me. I also stated that I would be writing a series of post on the topic, this is the first one in that series. Just for reference, Lorena Bobbit was the woman who angrily emasculated her husband back in the 90's. Guarding against her is guarding against anyone, or anything that would attempt to emasculate men today.

Men are adventurous, not saying woman aren't but we men have an innate desire to live an adventure. All of them look differently of course, but needless to say, we are adventurous. I'm, reminded at how ingrained this is into our manly core when I watch my nephew Evan. He loves adventure, discovering new things and exploring. One of his adventures I saw recently was the adventure of jumping from my coffee table onto the couch or into his dad's or my arms. He gets a thrill from jumping, which to him would probably seem like a near death thrill, since the coffee table is his height. Again, we men are adventurous, it's in our being, it's the way God designed each one of us. We desire the thrill of adventure, the joy of jumping off coffee tables, not really knowing what's going to happen but flinging our arms wide open embracing what may come.

Some of you men may be thinking that you aren't adventurous and you never have been. I would challenge that and say that at one point you were...something just changed your cerebral desire to do so. Most likely what happened is somewhere along the way and adventure went bad. You stepped out, you flung your arms wide and hit the ground...you completely missed the couch, or the person you trusted to catch you seemingly dropped you. What your brain did then was redirect your desires away from adventure because it's scary or it hurts too much. Let me challenge you to GET BACK UP! Allow God to banish fear, because deep inside you, deep inside me is an adventure that only we can live!

My friend "Greg" (not his real name) is getting ready to live his adventure. He loves graphic design, he's good at it and wants to make a career of it, yet he has a job that pays really well and can't afford to lose it. He is now married and wants to take care of his wife...yet he hates his job. He recently told me he's going to quit his job soon and begin the adventure of graphic design. He doesn't know when, or how or any of the details but he wants to live this adventure.

My other friend "Jordan" (not his real name either) wanted to live his adventure of being an officer in the United States Army...he is now in OCS (Officer Training School).

Both of these guys seem CRAZY to us, dropping their lively hood for a what? An adventure? That's just selfish we say, or that's silly "childish" thinking. YET, inside of us men, we're secretly thinking: Why can't I live that way? Why can't I live out my adventure? The answer is...we CAN!

Lorena Bobbit wants to bring the knife and say: "That's not responsible"; "That's foolish"; "You're being such a kid"; "Wise up" or whatever the phrases may be.
Most of the time, the criticism comes from within the church. Lorena lurks in the halls of your Church. Thankfully in my friends "Greg" and "Jordan" lives, their pastors prayed with them and actually encouraged and are encouraging them down these adventures!

I'm no great adventurer, but recently I've taken the plunge of trying to get a book published. I've been trying for over a year now and have about 6 rejection letters so far. I feel like giving up most days. I feel like throwing in the towel on this adventure because it is so discouraging to have your hard work rejected...BUT it's an adventure I'm going to continue to take. There are others I shy away from that someday I will face, but Lorena can't touch me with this one!

What adventure is your heart screaming for men? Has Lorena been bringing her knife? If so, allow God to give you the strength to live the adventure he's given you. He's sparked your heart, now take the plunge!

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Facts and Predictions

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Temptation (Letters to the Corinthians Series)

Why is it that we don't discuss our deepest darkest temptations in the church? Most times we avoid the fact that we have deep nasty junk inside ourselves that Satan loves to pluck out to lead us into sin. The capacity to sin is within us and each of us has a "special room" for those sinful desires. Satan know that room, God knows that room and WE know that room.

A lot of times those rooms are built due to pain. I talked to the Sr. High teens last night about Temptation, and told them about a girl I knew in High School who had an abusive father. He wounded her and put a deep desire to be loved and accepted by men. This gave Satan a wound to work his temptation through. This girl became sexually active, so much so that she was having sex with boys in the school. Under the bleachers, in back stairwells etc.

The sad thing is...she had no one who would talk to her. She was constantly tempted to have sex, but didn't see her way out. 1 Corinthians 10:11-13 says that when we are tempted, God will always have a way out for us and he does...this girl just couldn't find it. She was also a member of our youth group...which makes it WORSE that there was no one to help her with her temptation, which was slowly becoming and addiction.

There are other what would seemingly be "minor temptations" that teens deal with every day. As Youth Pastors, parents, friends and fellow believers, its our job to help show them the ways out that God provides. One practical way that I offered was a phone call to me (for the guys) or my wife (for the girls). I told them that no matter what they are being tempted to do...give me a call even if its a temptation to steal a pack of gum.

I also pointed them to a great verse that helped me over and over again as a teen and now as an adult. James 4:7-8a " Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you."

I encouraged them to allow God to help them to "stand up under temptation" (1 Corinthians 10:12)

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A Different Perspective

When I was a young, wide-eyed college student, I was a selfish jerk. Not too much has changed, but I notice a different outlook.

All through college, I worked at Chili's as a server. I was a hard worker, gained good income...but I was selfish. I didn't act as a team player. My attitude was how much money can I make in as little time as possible? How can I help myself earn money and leave? These were my thoughts.

Now, times have changed. I have returned to Chili's in order to take care of my family. This has changed my attitude on working there tremendously. I no longer want to be the first one cut. I want to stay as long as I can in order to get every ounce of money out of the shift I can. I also no longer want to look out just for myself on my shifts. I now have this strange desire to be a team member, helping all those around me.

Why such a shift in thinking? Am I really that much different...another thought is: did I really act that way when I was there before?

I am shamed by how I was. However, I realize that this is the difference marriage and children in a man's life creates. He is now no longer focusing on his life alone, but on the lives of those he is asked to take care of.

There is still a selfish-jerk side to me, yet I think I am maturing. Looking back at who I was, to who I am I can say I am glad for the upgrade in thinking. How has your thinking upgraded lately?

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The Final Twitter Answer

Seriously, I am a HUGE fan of Twitter. I've posted once before about the cool things about it, but this video is definitely the best reasoning as to why I use Twitter. There are more reasons than shown in this video, but man does it help explain my fascination. If you haven't tried Twitter yet and are skeptical...watch this video. If you LOVE Twitter, use Twitter or think Twitter is cool, watch this video!!

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For The Tough Times

For The Tough Times by Max Lucado
ISBN: 978-0-8499-2144-5

Tough Times are here. I know, I'm experiencing some tough times. Due to the economic downturn, my job was reduced from full time to part-time starting February 1st. I've had to look for another job to supplement the income I will be losing. The media is having a frenzy over the stock-market plunge and more and more people are losing jobs than have been in almost 10 years. Tough Times are here. That's what makes this book so on target especially for me personally. When I began reading this book, I found myself agreeing with what Max was saying. It's just what I needed to hear it, at the exact time I needed to hear it! Max opens up the discussion of tough times asking in Chapter One: Where is God? Max gently reminds the reader that God says: "My thoughts are not your thoughts. Your ways are not like my ways. Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts" (Isa. 55:8-9). This hit me hard, for I've been dwelling on my thoughts and my situation, without really seeking what His [God's] thoughts were.
Max continues throughout the whole book discussing hard times (different issues that span divorce to death of a loved one) and answering our hard questions with the Word of God. The book is very short and can easily be read in about an hour but it is extremely powerful. Max writes as a pastor to his flock, which really speaks to me a fellow pastor. I love his candor and obvious love for the readers, imploring them to go to God in prayer; let go of bitterness; understand that God is triumphant and in control; and trying to see hard times through the perspective of God.
At the end of the book is a short prayer that Max adapted from a prayer written for America Prays, a national prayer vigil. It is short, but powerful prayer that I prayed at the end of my reading the book.
If hard times are knocking on your door (which they will someday if not right now) I would recommend you buy this book. With most of my reviews I don't outright say: you should buy this book...so know that I say for this book: You Should Buy it.

The picture above (the cover of the book) is a link to purchase the book.

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The Ugliest Thing

Dear Friend,
Let me tell you a simple truth. Divorce is indeed ugly, it is not fun, it is not freeing it is ugly. I know what you're going through, I've been there and lived it...actually to say "lived" is the wrong word because in fact I LIVE it. It is ugly because for the rest of our lives, it is lived by us and all who've been affect by this, the ugliest thing.

Your wounding is much more recent, so let me tell you I understand. You feel alone, abandoned, cheated and pissed off. These are all REAL feelings. They are OK to feel. In fact this event has cheated you. However, you are not alone, because God is with you and I am here for you.

You may also feel as if there maybe something you can do to repair the breach within the walls of your parents marriage. You feel as if this, the ugliest thing was somehow your doing and if you stay "good enough" (or "bad enough") that they your parents will have to come back together either to reward you, or to reprimand you. My friend, this is all untrue. It isn't your fault and there is nothing you can do for good or for ill that will repair what was done.
There are many things I wish I knew when my parents divorced. One I wished I knew was this: they will never get back together, it's over. I know that sounds harsh, mean and wrong but friend it's true. If the papers are signed and the ink is dry on the divorce papers, it is indeed over. The desire for them to get back together is NOT wrong, but the truth is that it is over.

Second thing I wish I knew is this simple truth: This loss MUST be GRIEVED. What has happened is awful, ugly and humanly UNNATURAL. People will tell you that it's going to be OK, you will get over this and one day life will be normal again. Friend, life will "seem" normal, but the fact will always remain that the deed is done, so PLEASE grieve this loss. Sadly the church is the WORST at dealing with these types of things. We don't try to do this but we do; we say things like: "It'll all work out when God wants it to", "God's in control", "God can use this for good", "He {God} will use this as a testimony". All of which are true enough...YET they are used in uncaring, un-explained ways that end up sounding cold, dead and meaningless. You see, people within the church don't know how to deal with pain, so when serious pain erupts, we use "pat" answers, instead of simply saying: "It's OK not to be OK, feel this, grieve it and allow God to heal your brokenness, for brokenness it is." Had I been told THAT, the lingering effects wouldn't have crept up the way they did. I thought I had to "be strong for God, so he could use this as a testimony", yet I never dealt with the trash that divorce brings. So friend, PLEASE grieve this loss, for loss it is.

Third thing I wish I knew when the ugliest thing hit is that God can uplift me and make even this disastrous thing to be used for good. You might be saying: wait a moment here, you just said that this is a pat answer. Friend for most it is just that, but the fact is that God CAN and WILL use any and every situation for good. However, to get here to this point, you must allow God to first heal you. Can God use you un-healed...of course. However, to not re-wound yourself by regurgitating a "testimony", grieve it. What that will do is make it less a "story" and more a real, connecting life. Your life will connect with others and will come off as true life rather than a memorized story that hasn't truly been felt.

Lastly, I wish I knew that even after I was healed from my pain of the divorce itself, that divorce would still run a muck in my life. You see, generally your parents get re-married, which then brings 4 "parental units" into your life rather than the 2 originals. Some step-parents are HORRIBLE and some are AMAZING. I had a mixture of both. My step-mom who married my dad in 1996 is an amazing testimony to step-parents. She loved me as her own and treated me as such. My step-dad(s) were not so cool. One abused my mom (verbally and physically), was a drunken drug addict and ended up in jail. The second was a man who hated my religious views, also drank heavily, manipulated my mother and sadly years after getting divorced from my mom was found dead in his bathtub. So friend, with that said, the effects of divorce are life-long. Your parents thought it was a "in the moment" problem, or maybe a "til they grow up" problem...but it's LIFE LONG.

God, the great healer has done tremendous work in my life and the lives of my family. So, THERE US HOPE! My mother is now walking closely with the Lord and has two wonderful friends that love her. My brother is a Youth Pastor/Seminary Student, My Sister is an amazing counselor married to a Youth Pastor/Engineer. My dad and step-mom are happily married and are in ministry together...

We are all still MESSED up people. However, we are all HEALED and being HEALED by our Great God. Allow Him to go deep into your woundedness and heal you my friend, trust me when I say: You'll be so glad you did!

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The Fight for Adequacy

Have you ever felt in life like a failure? Have you heard the whisper in your own mind that you'll never cut it? Maybe you heard loud voluminous screams from a loved one, friend or teacher that you just aren't good enough being who you are. You have to shape up, change up and make up a new self to be worth it.

I hear this whisper in my ear a lot. Last night was one of those times I felt like I was fighting for adequacy. I know that without Christ I am nothing. I am aware that no one is righteous, no one is good enough. Yet, that knowledge wasn't helping me.

That's when I heard God whisper to me: "You were worth dying for, if you are adequate for me to die, you are adequate!"

I know I'm not the only one in life who has times like these. I am being real with you about my heart and the things I go through...but I know you deal with them too. You see, we are not good enough to be righteous. We are not good enough to be loved...meaning that because of our SIN, we don't deserve those things.

YET... and YET, Christ died for us. Christ said to the World while he was on that Cross: "You don't deserve this, but I choose YOU anyways! I want you to know me and my Father. Even though you are in the MIDST of your sin, I die for YOU!"

This is why the Cross broke Satan's Back. He thought he had us...Satan thought he had won the battle for our hearts, souls and minds, but Christ broke his hold on us the moment he "gave up the ghost". When he died for us, the curtain was laid open for us. All we have to do is walk into that relationship. Once we do, it will change us forever!


I love the whispers of God during the times in which Satan tries to bring me down with lies. God's whispers are TRUE, loving and ALWAYS on time!

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How I Broke...My Toe

Many stories in my life are comical, silly and downright ridiculous, this short story of how I broke my toe is no different.

I wish I could tell you how I broke my toe by lifting way too many boxes full of heavy books. Or How I broke my toe taking a couch up some stairs. Maybe even I broke my toe playing a sick game of football.

However, the truth is I didn't break my toe doing any of those things. Yesterday was my day off. I was home chillin'. I did some reading, some thinking and some cleaning up around the house.

Here's the story. For Christmas, my mom and her two roommates surprised me and bought a Blue-Ray Disc player for me. They got a sweet deal that they couldn't pass up. Well, I opened the box and wouldn't you know it...a Blue-Ray Disc player doesn't come with an HDMI cable (although it's for HD TV's...what's up with that?). So, frustrated, I resolved myself to the fact that I must venture out on my day off to get that blasted HDMI cable. However, before I go out to Best Buy, I need to get some of this Christmas stuff cleaned up. I get the box for the "Christmas Countdown" that is on top of my entertainment center. I quickly walk over to the entertainment center to get the Christmas Countdown and my pinky toe and ONLY my pinky toe find the Blue-Ray Disc player. I hear a snap and look down and see my toe in a direction it has never been in before. The Blue-Ray Disc player BROKE MY TOE!

So, this is a lesson to Sony...Put the frickin' HDMI cable in the box with the High Def. player. Don't give me stinking RCA cables, or anything else, because it could mean a broken toe!

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The Emasculation of Men

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on man-hood and am doing a series for my Jr. Highers on Biblical Men. The reading, and studying I've been doing has definitely given me the idea that we as men (especially within the church) are being or have been emasculated. I'm currently reading Wild at Heart by John Eldridge, in which he says this exact sentiment.

One of the things John Eldridge says is: "Inside every man is a warrior".

That may not seem super intuitive, but let me as you man to man: when was the last time someone called you a warrior?

We as men read stories of warriors, watch movies of warriors and our hearts begin to beat faster as we think "I would love to be THAT guy".

I collect swords, read fantasy books and watch war movies because deep inside me is a warrior that relates to ALL of those things. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I duel an imaginary foe with my collected swords. Up until now, I was embarrassed and some of you may laugh, but you know what? You would too if you had my cool swords. I connect with Wild at Heart more than I ever thought I would. I heard guys talk about it and I envisioned John Eldridge telling me I had to be a man of the woods to experience masculinity, or I had to rock climb to be man. Yet, he doesn't say those things, he mentions them as things he does, but he doesn't try to DEFINE manhood, he simply states that a man's heart has three needs: "A battle to fight, an adventure to live and a Beauty to save". We want to battle, because we are WARRIORS.

Sadly, what has happened is that our "Battle Face" has been told to calm down, be less hyper, be less intrusive and to be more....feminine. We can't allow our warrior to have his penis cut off guys! God has placed us men on earth to fight the enemy, Satan! Once we relax and let the warrior get castrated...Satan has an upper hand in this fight.

I think I'm going to be posting more on this, so we can get to the "How" of this topic. But, never forget...YOU ARE A WARRIOR! (Thanks John!)

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