My Twitter

    follow me on Twitter

    This is default featured slide 1 title

    Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

    This is default featured slide 2 title

    Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

    This is default featured slide 3 title

    Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

    This is default featured slide 4 title

    Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

    This is default featured slide 5 title

    Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

    Saturday, November 29, 2008

    Cultural Christianity Vs. Authentic Christianity

    Definitions:
    Cultural Christianity: a moralistic, behavioral set of ethics that are put upon "followers of Christ" to determine whether or not they are good people that are going to heaven. More emphasis on how you look, and act than anything else

    Authentic Christianity: a relational, heart-drawn call to God, His Son Jesus Christ and a willingness to be lead by the Holy Spirit. A competent understanding of your own sinfulness and a desire to change your heart above all else.

    For years I have struggled with these two types of Christianity. When I was growing up, most of the people in my churches were cultural Christians, worrying themselves about how they appeared to be following Christ, rather than actually working on their hearts before the Almighty God Himself. This then trained me to do the very same thing. Not only did I succeed at doing so but I was a champion at pointing out others short-comings when it came to their appearance of following Christ. Cultural Christianity is simply a play with good characters and bad characters. A Ruse to get people to think that they are following the right path. You end up believing certain lies like: You can only be Republican if you're a Christian; Christians never get mad; Christians never fail and if you fail, keep it quiet so no one finds out; and most importantly is make sure you are "on your best behavior" at church.
    When I got to college, my whole sphere of my beliefs came CRASHING down upon my head. I saw the utter flaws within my relationship to Christ, my own sin that I thought was ambition but was pride. I saw my black heart even though I thought it was as white as snow. I saw how often my finger was raised in accusation rather than admittance of my own wrong-doing. God used my college days to utterly transform how I perceived, loved and knew God. This is by no means a blog to say "how far I've come", yet a simple confession of my own personal past and present misconceptions of my Faith.
    What I began to grapple with, was that to really wrestle with God was not to see all the sin in the world, but all the sin within myself. It meant that I needed to go to the mattresses with the Lord, baring my sins open to Him and trying to feebly keep some sins I enjoyed for myself. God has since been calling my junk to the forefront and will continue to do so. This has humbled me when it came to my finger pointing...mind you, I still pridefully do this but I trust I am getting better. I realized that I am just as rotten and disgusting as everyone else, I simply have a Savior that decided to graciously cover my sins because I asked Him. Without the covering of Jesus I am no better than the worst sinner whoever lived. I have within me the capacity to sin with limitless sinfulness. This understanding and the understanding that Christ has graciously given Himself for me has been a HUGE transforming truth for me.
    This understanding is what I have called Authentic Christianity. No longer and I working on myself for a crowd, but giving myself over to the Lord for Him to point out the junk in me and asking Him to graciously help me pluck it out of my heart and life.
    I'll be the first to admit that I live a culturally Christian life more and less of an authentic Christian life than I should. Yet I believe that if we all would grab onto this heart-changing, rather than outside changing Christian Faith, allowing Christ to purge us from within...the World will soon stand and take notice. It has nothing to do with being "culturally relevant" and all to do with how the God wants a relationship with us!

    (For other post about this, check these out: Cleaning your Cups, Galatians Sermon, Authenticity)

    Tuesday, November 25, 2008

    The Truth About You

    When I read the description for this book, I rolled my eyes. When I opened up the first chapter and read that I needed to watch a 22 minute video as a companion to the book, I got frustrated. Lastly, when I read I should write down stuff in a notebook (provided within the book), I got mad.
    Those are all things I typically don't do. However, for the sake of the review, I did them. The movie was decent, well shot and almost felt like a Nooma video sans Rob Bell. The notebook was a good idea, but for me a hard thing to really put into practice.
    The book and the writing however, I couldn't put down! Marcus Buckingham is a winsome, amazingly articulate author. I was engrossed by his writing. I found myself agreeing with everything he said, saying out loud: "Yea, I feel that way!" or "Yea, I can't wait to do that!". This books purpose was singular: empower the reader to be a person who lives, breathes and works in their strengths. Marcus shares numerous lies that we believe about ourselves and others that cripple us from living and working in our strengths. We find ourselves asking why we do things more so than what are we doing. Marcus really nailed a gigantic reason why people hate their jobs. This book revolutionized my thought on how I design my day.
    I think the biggest "take-away" for me is going to be building a team around me, who is strongest at my weakest, so then I can live in and through my strengths. There are times when I will have to do a weakness of mine during my day, yet if I have a team of people around me who can take that load, the more happy and the more successful I'll be. If you hate your job, or if you simply feel drained after work, I double dog dare you to pick this book up. Read it, see if you can see what your true weaknesses and strengths are and then see if you can build up the things that help you work on your strengths!
    To conclude, I want to tantalize your brains with what Marcus calls "The best advice you'll ever get". Here are all five advice points:

    1. Performance is always the point
    2. Your strengths aren't what you're good at, and your weaknesses aren't what you're bad at.
    3. When it comes to your job, the "What" always trumps the "Why" and the "Who"
    4. You'll never find the perfect job
    5. You'll never turn your weaknesses into strengths

    You probably don't agree with all of them (or any of them) but that's OK because you'd have to read it to know what he means.

    Monday, November 24, 2008

    Ministering with Your MIND

    The Great Get-Away Pt. 3:
    *These next posts are simply interacting with Youth Ministry concepts given by Jason Ostrander*

    Last "Great Get-Away" post, we talked about ministering to students with your heart, today is about your mind. Again, this weekend was transformational in how I approach ministry. Jason when he got to this segment really hammered us.
    The main thing I got out of this session was how much am I personally in the Word of God? Jason challenged us with this question. If the Word of God is not prevalent in our ministries, what is?
    We can put together some amazing games, sweet curriculum or even use some good material...but is it surrounded, bathed and soaked in the Word of God? Is our talk time 5 minutes of the Word and 35 minutes of video clips? Is our study quick glances in the Word to fit our "monthly topic" or is our study time soaked in the Word of God and the talk that comes forth from dripping with the dew of the Lord?
    I had to honestly answer these questions and realized I've fallen way short of the mark. This wasn't a time to shame us into "reading our Bibles more" but a time to authentically look at how we've been doing ministry. What has our "mind" been focusing on? When we sit at our desks as Youth Pastors, or have lunch with a teen is our counsel/study/lesson that comes from our mind soaked in the Word of God? If not...why not?
    I was SUPER convicted. I knew I slapped "monthly topics" together (sometimes the day of) simply placing funny stories (or not so funny stories) into my lesson with a peppering of the Word of God. I wasn't dripping with the scent of God...in fact if you smelled closely you would only smell a faint hint of Him. However, we should have our minds so IMMERSED in the Word that we have the fragrance of God just coming forth ahead of us...that way too everyone knows its not us, but God.
    Am I now amazingly perfect with this, now that I had a "weekend high" on Jesus? NO. However, now that I see what I've been doing I want to re-direct myself. I want to be dedicated to taking a shower in God's Word...

    Friday, November 21, 2008

    Porn-Again Christian?

    " Let's talk about Pornography and Masturbation"...not your great conversation starter, huh? All the sudden you get a lump in your throat. A hot, uncomfortable perspiration begins. A desperate attempt to become un-noticed comes over you, even if you are the life of the party.
    It's not easy, it's not fun and it can be embarrassing...yet it is VITAL! Teens don't get enough healthy sex-education today. They either get the legalistic NO because I (or God) said so answer...or they get the "Yea, just use a condom" conversation followed up with a demonstration with a banana and a balloon. Sorry but these are NOT ways to encourage our teens to avoid sex. They need frank, in your face discussions, that show them the WHY in the NO and also the HOW when the YES comes! Young Men (boys) especially need to be given more than the pat answer. We as Youth Pastors/Leaders/Parents need to teach sex health rather than sex ed. Sex is good, sex is GREAT and sex is amazing. Yet, to receive the TRUE GIFT of it, there are boundaries, and contexts which can allow one to have the best sex ever.
    As I was looking at all the "purity" events, books and discussion guides for young men, I ran into this one. A book by Mark Driscoll titled: "Porn-Again Christian". This is a RAW, FRANK look at male sexuality. It brings up porn, prostitution and masturbation. Topics generally that we shy away from. Mark is candid, funny and to the point about this junk and why it's trashy and harmful. He brings it to light in real, relevant ways for young men. I think you all should take a look at it. It may offend some because it is so RAW. However, our teens see, hear and say worse than this book could ever touch. Our young men are craving an encounter with a man who is unafraid of discussing about these topics. They are dying to know if what they're doing is good, wholesome or OK. Some what a rubber stamp that says: "you're not having sex, so you're OK". Yet, they need this type of in your face look at these topics.
    The BEST part of this is...the book is FREE for download right now on the Resurgence website. To download and read, go here: http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/
    Check it out, and give me a holla about your thoughts, reactions agreements or disagreements!

    Tuesday, November 18, 2008

    The Great Get-Away Pt.2


    *These next posts are simply interacting with Youth Ministry concepts given by Jason Ostrander*

    This weekend was a rejuvenating time for me. I got the chance to get away, spend time alone and spend time with God. It has been one of the best experiences I've had as well as one of the best encounters with God I've ever had.
    This weekend, Jason Ostarander, the National Youth Director for the Christian and Missionary Alliance (long title anyone?) decided that it was imperative to pour into us youth pastors and youth leaders for a weekend. His whole concept was US. Not tools for a better ministry, but tools for a better US, which would in turn translate to a better ministry. He discussed with us 4 main topics: Ministering from the HEART, MIND, HANDS and as a TEAM. I will put Heart and Mind separate, then the last post will be Hands and Team. I will throw some Marvin in there, but I want to translate to yall alot of what Jason brought this weekend.

    Ministering from the HEART:
    Jason talked about how the heart is ever important both to God and for ministry. Our hearts need to be right with God, our hearts need to be in line with God and our hearts need to be ministering from the very heart of God. If our hearts aren't right before God, everything we do will not be right. It may be good, but we'd be doing it in our own power, NOT the power of God. Jason really laid into us in the audience on how we need to get our hearts connected to God. He gave verse after verse of how important our hearts are and how our hearts steer us.
    The biggest smack (for me came) when Jason quoted Matthew 12:34: "...Out of the overflow of the HEART the mouth speaks". What am I filling my heart with? Because whatever the answer is, is what my mouth will be talking about. He asked us then to think about the last 3 conversations we've had that were significant (more than 5 minutes long)...why don't you think about this right now too. He then said what did you talk about in those three conversations? That will help you to see what your hearts are full of right now.
    This came as a smack to me, because I wasn't talking about God, my wife or my future kid, nor my youth group (in those three significant conversations). I was talking about my fears, my worries about money and such. My heart, going into this past weekend was worn out, beat up and DONE...and I didn't even know it. I was teaching lazily to my youth, leaving them wanting more. I was not really a husband so much as a lump and my joy was slipping away...
    Youth Leaders/Pastors...our hearts are KEY. Are you feeding your heart with the WORD of God? I know for sure I wasn't. I want to BATHE in the Word, soak in the Word and allow it to bring my heart in line with God's heart. As I spent time this weekend, I always remember that mountain top stuff doesn't last...but as with any retreat, it's what we take with us, those important keys that we get that last for the long haul, even when we're in those valleys.
    May You and I allow the God of all Love permeate our hearts!

    Sunday, November 16, 2008

    The Great Get-Away

    This weekend, I got away. I got away from my TV, I got away from my computer (I took it, but didn't bust it open ONCE), I got away from my Fantasy books (which I love reading), I got away from my house, I got away from my cat, I got away from my job and hardest of all, my wife wasn't there either.
    I took the plunge and went up to a place called Lake Champion for a Youth Leader (and Pastor) Retreat called Invigorate '08. It wasn't you're typical Youth Leader retreat, in that it wasn't all about the coolest curriculum, the best sermon, the niftiest technology, the newest Youth Group game or the best way of doing small groups. It wasn't about connecting to Youth Culture, or even how to be the coolest Youth Pastor, with the sweetest lingo to connect with your youth. It was all about GOD. It was about how I (we Youth Leaders) need God. It was how we can be better connected to the source, which is Christ. On the periphery of the conversation was the Youth, but the main focus was how we connect with the Almighty.
    I've never been to anything like it and I'm the better for going and receiving what God had for me. My eyes were opened to many things, all of which I will be 100% Authentic about. I will make this a 4 part blog-fest both for me so I can better grasp what God has done and for you, because although the context was for youth leaders...it's for everyone!
    Let me preface this blog-fest with a couple side-notes. 1. Jason Ostrander (the speaker for the weekend) was used by God to smack us Youth Leaders in the face with what REALLY matters in Ministry. 2. God spoke directly to me about my failures, of which I will share. and 3. If you are a youth leader and weren't at this retreat, I challenge you to read all these posts.
    I think what was opened up this weekend is something of high importance, that truly deserves discussion, so please discuss!

    Monday, November 10, 2008

    What is God doing?

    You know that place where you are asking God for an answer and all you receive is a still silence? The place where your insides are screaming to know the answer to a dangerous question and God's silent? That frustrating "wait" moment that God places you in? Yeah...I'm there! In a previous blog titled Wished I Had and Ephod, I explained how I wished I had that mystical and Biblical device to discern God's will...and yes, I still wish I had one!
    The place of waiting for me is the HARDEST place to be. I, by my very nature am a creature of "RIGHT NOW!" My Father used to say I had a problem with "instant gratification" which means I felt like needed what I wanted right in the moment I wanted it. It was so bad that one year as a High School SENIOR, I pre-viewed all the DVD's I bought my family for Christmas...yea that means I watched them all, then gave them away as gifts! No joke. It was Christmas Day and my family was opening there presents and every one one from me was a DVD, without the wrapping around it. No one said anything about it, until my Dad opened his. He looked at it and asked outright: "What's going on with the DVD's Marvin?". I tried to think of something clever that would make sense like: "Well Dad, I know how much the wrapping bugs all of you and I know how the security tape is annoying, so I took the liberty of unwrapping it all for you!" Yet, my wit wasn't up to par so I decided honesty. The story is told and re-told every Christmas...
    This (the DVD pre-veiwing Marv) is the innate Marv that is banging on the walls wanting God to dish out his secrets. People have been telling me that the moments of "waiting" are the defining moments of growth, patience and testing. We see ourselves grow and change in these moments. I must say that all I can see is my total depravity and utter dependence upon myself through this time. I keep trying to figure it all out. I keep trying to look for signs in the circumstances. I keep pushing, yet all of it comes out to nothing! I know that no matter what God does, I will be taken care of. I know that no matter what God does I will not need to worry and it will be perfectly that which he has for me...yet I still desire to know. I think the Psalmist had this same dealing, that's why he wrote:

    "I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."
    (
    Psalm 27:13-14)


    I know I will see the Goodness of my God. It's not easy to get a constant: "WAIT" when in prayer with the Lord, but even though it SUCKS, I know God has a reason for it. I hate waiting, I really do. I still (selfishly) wish I could have an Ephod (please Lord?) but this is where God has me and if He says wait, I know for sure that it's right where he wants me to be (even if it's NOT where I want to be). So, what is God doing? I don't have a clue, but I know I will see His GOODNESS, and no matter what may be down your road, you can trust and know that you too will see his Goodness.

    A Challenge

    Reading through my new Chronological Study Bible I've come into some new insights. I was challenged yesterday in a sermon done by Barry Jordan a missionary to Indonesia. He said yesterday that nothing has been more enlightening than reading through the life of Jesus over and over again or the last 19 years. He challenged his listeners to read through the life of Jesus: "Get to know Jesus" he said.
    This challenge was one I readily accepted. I've been studying Jesus a bit here and there, but reading through his life again and again was something I was ready to do. Here is where my new insight came in. I realized that I just received recently the new Chronological Study Bible and I could read through the life of Christ in the order in which it all happened! Some of you may be saying what a geek I am, and yeah maybe I am. But I started reading through the life of Christ and it started with John 1:1-8, then went into Luke. What's amazing to me, and the insight that I am receiving is about the culture and times of Christ. Jesus is becoming more and more real to me and I love it.
    Christ's life is one of inspiring proportions, I think Barry's challenge was right on...will you take the challenge with me?

    Friday, November 7, 2008

    Review of: Chronological Study Bible

    The new Thomas Nelson Chronological Study Bible is more than I expected. Swirling around the publishing date of this new Study Bible was much controversy. Many people were skeptical about it and I admit so was I. However, if you purchase this Bible, I think your skepticism will subside (mine has).
    I've been pouring myself into this Bible, wandering how long it would take me to review it. However, I can't approach this as if it were a normal fiction or non-fiction book. For me to read every page of this Bible, and then comment on it would take months. I have though, thoroughly looked at, worked with and studied this Bible. In fact I was up past midnight last night pouring into it! Below is a synoptic view of this Bible, starting with what it is.
    Before cracking this Bible open, I expected it to be a Bible set up in the Chronological Authorship of the Scriptures. If this were the case, Job most likely would have been first, it being the first of the Biblical books written. However, the Chronological order is of the Biblical Narrative, not of the authorship. It also follows the narrative History of the entire world, placing the Biblical events into a time line, which we can (due to History class) better place in our minds when it happened. The Bible is divided into Nine Epochs (or ages of the Earth). The Epochs Being: Epoch 1: Creation- 2000 B.C.; Epoch 2: 2000-1500 B.C.; Epoch 3: 1500-1200 B.C.; Epoch 4: 1200-930 B.C.; Epoch 5: 930-586 B.C.; Epoch 6: 586-332 B.C.; Epoch 7: 332-37 B.C.; Epoch 8: 37 B.C.- A.D. 30; Epoch 9: A.D. 30-100.
    Within these eras, the Chronological Narrative of the Earth and the Bible is placed. Instead of reading the Scriptures as separate books, this places the entire Bible on one Narrative time line.
    I was skeptical at first, because I didn't know this was the approach of this Study Bible before I read it. I thought it would be the same feel as a normal Bible, so I wandered why I should bother spending my money on a product that simply re-arranged the Bible by the first books written to the last books written. However, placed in this narrative chronology, it brings the Scripture into a whole new light! You can follow for example David and his Psalms. We see an event happening to David and we can see the Psalm written by David, directly after the event! That in and of itself allows me to understand the particular Psalm as well as David better! It opens the eyes of the reader to a whole new plain of Biblical understanding.
    I believe that Thomas Nelson has done well with this Bible also, because they understand the importance of story to my generation and the generations after me. Connecting to story is a HUGE way for my generation to connect with God. Placing the Bible in it's narrative chronological order will speak to people of my generation that a normal Bible won't.
    Also, seeing the Scriptures in this ways brings a depth of Study that other Study Bibles don't bring. It incorporates the history of the world along side the Biblical History, helping the reader to better understand the cultural context of a particular piece of Scripture.
    There are MANY features that I haven't even mentioned, all of which bring amazing things to this Bible. Some a person could do without, but they are all pretty interesting none-the-less. Here is what you'll also learn about (taken from back cover): Agriculture and Herding, Architecture and Building, Arts and Literature, Beliefs and Ideas, Cults and Supernatural, Culture and Society, Daily Life and Customs, Food and Drink, Geography and Environment, Health and Medicine, Marriage and Family, Plants and Animals, Politics and Government, Religion an Worship, Science and Technology. All of these features are placed in little boxes or bubbles in and around the text. My only issue is that at points it feels very cluttered and hard to follow. Once you get used to navigating the scriptures as well as these extra boxes and bubbles, it connects and makes sense, but it can be difficult at times.
    Lastly, the layout of the Scriptures can be difficult to understand. If you are trying to find a specific passage from memory of where it was in your original Bible, chances are you won't find it. Unless you look at the very back of the Bible, which gives (in Biblical order) the pages certain portions of scripture can be found. It takes awhile to learn how to use, but once you do, this Bible is quite incredible. Read it as a story and it will make reading/understanding this Bible a whole lot easier.


    *PS This Bible was given to me for FREE to review. Thomas Nelson has a Book Review Blogger Group, in which Bloggers can receive for FREE books of their choice. However, the blogger must put a 200 word minimum review of the book on their blog, as well as on Amazon.com. If you are an interested blogger, give a shout and I will send you the link!*

    Thursday, November 6, 2008

    Cleaning Your Cups


    Today, I was listening to a sermon by Mark Driscoll. In this sermon, he was dialoguing about Matthew 23. When he got to verse 25, I needed to soak this in. Here's what it says:

    "Woe to you teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside o the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will also be clean" (Matthew 23:25-26)


    When I first looked at this, I was like: "Yea Jesus, tell em'! This is a message the church as a whole needs to hear! Tell em'! Then I felt the Spirit of God ask me: "How often do YOU try to get away with cleaning the OUTSIDE of YOUR cup?" It was then I looked at this verse as a verse for me. How often do I pretend to have it all together, how often to I make my outside look nice, all the while my insides are screaming with pain, or sin. I talk a lot bout authenticity because it's important, but have I been listening to my own sermons, or simply "looking like it"?

    This is a verse I think we each need to wrestle with, because let's face the reality...we all try to get away with washing the outside of our cup and sometimes we get so stuck on the cleaning the outside, that we completely forget the inside. We become so preoccupied with the outside, that the inside of our cups (being our hearts) get neglected for days, years and decades! I know the inside of my cup isn't pristine...in fact it's pretty dirty. I am encouraged that Christ was so bold about these issues. I challenge all of us to check our cups!


    How's YOUR cup?

    Wednesday, November 5, 2008

    The President-Elect


    The long, arduous campaign is finally over. America has decided her new President, Barack Obama. It was a historic event, full of tears of sadness and of joy. All I can say at the end? Thank God it's finally over. This campaign was exhaustively long and seemingly drawn out. However, at last it is over.
    The question now goes forth as to "Where do we go from here?", and there are many answers to that question. Those who voted McCain can grow bitter, angry and self righteous. Those who voted Obama can grow arrogant, giddy and rude, yet those are not answers I would suggest. I think we've had enough bitter Obama junk, enough bitter McCain junk and definitely enough defaming of both candidates. I think it's time to move on. Those who voted for Obama, embrace him as your President. Those who voted McCain, embrace Obama as your President. We've had 8 years of "liberals" complaining about Bush...does there need to be another 4 of "conservatives" complaining about Obama? Please, choose to say NO. We can grow together as a united nation, debunking the power of bi-partisanship or we can entrench those bitter feelings and continue to divide a already weakening country. My challenge is to step up and Live as Christ would live. Christ wouldn't bash someone, Christ wouldn't say: "Oh well, now our country will fall to pieces because Obama is in the White House". Folks, no matter who you voted for, God is STILL God! Never forget that truth. Let's end bitterness and try to make this a better, more united country.

    Saturday, November 1, 2008

    Authenticity pt. 5

    Most of my past posts have been on authenticity. Many of you have interacted with these posts, and I believe it is the heartbeat of this generation, a desire for intimate authenticity. Being authentic is NOT an easy thing, yet it is a truly amazing thing. I could tell you numerous stories of how I have not been authentic, how I've hidden behind a mask of false pretenses, judgment and secret anger. I could regale you with many stories of my hidden sin and how no one knew who I really was (and I will share many these and many more in my book)...because there are many. There is a laundry list of falsehood within the church and without. I cold tell you how amazing authenticity is within marriage and friendships as well as your relationship with God (because it is). Yet I would be in the wrong if I didn't share with you the COST of authenticity.
    Many times we are hit with great sermons about changing ourselves and walking closer to God and the preacher makes it seem easy as pie...yet when we try to go about following the advice from the pulpit, we're smacked with the reality of how difficult it really is! This post is an effort to be honest with you and share that there is a cost to authenticity. I don't want to pretend that if you takes steps 1,2 and 3 you'll be successfully authentic and there will be no difficulty whatsoever.
    Being authentic will hurt. For example, when I shared with my wife (then fiance) my deep dark sins of my flesh, she was blow away, hurt, saddened and confused. This was a step of authenticity that I took and it hurt. It hurt because I realized that my sinfulness now no longer touched just me and God, but my future wife. It also hurt because I could no longer hide behind this perfect facade that my fiance had set up for me, I felt like I fell short of her expectations and I hate that! I love making people happy...yet if my wife thought she was marrying a perfect man, with no flaws...she would've been smacked with my sin once we were married, then she would say: "You're not the man I married" (like so many wives say).
    Being authentic as you can see has a cost. A big one. The cost of Authenticity is intimacy. You're probably thinking that intimacy isn't a bad thing, why would I be afraid of intimacy. And I would tell you that true intimacy is you being an open book, the person you're intimate with knows you in and out. Intimacy is a cost because you can't be fake and when you are, you get called out on it (my wife points this out to me all the time!). Intimacy means that your "secret" struggles are out there in the open, people know you have issues (like EVERYONE does). It costs a lot to be authentic. *This goes for your relationship with God as well...the more authentic we are with God, the more intimate our relationship with him becomes!*

    I will continue this discussion. Please leave your comments, this open discussion has been good to interact with!