Learning to be a Better Pastor

Pastor means Shepherd. I am a Youth Pastor, which means I am called to Shepherd those crazy people who find themselves in the teen years. This encompasses many "fun" new life challenges, which include but are not limited to: puberty, Spiritual understanding, the thought of invincibility, the lack of self-assurance, the entrance of most sexual confusion, the entrance of self actualization, the start of real independence and a deeper desire to figure out the "why's" of discipline.

This is my calling...the Shepherd these teens. Not only am I called to assist them during these tough life challenges, but most importantly, I am called to direct them to The Father. I am called to bring forth Christ. I am called to lead them in Spiritual Formation, self understanding and a deeper understanding of God and His Word.

Here's what I've learned and will never let go of: I can only lead them as far as I have gone myself.

A Shepherd is foolish to take a flock down a hill, road or path that he himself has not yet traveled. He doesn't know the way. He doesn't know the terrain. He doesn't even know if there are dangers ahead.

I need to constantly follow God down new paths. Pave new avenues so I can grow in MY understanding of God, so in turn I can be used by the Holy Spirit to guide people closer to the Father. If I read the same devotional book again and again for years and NEVER venture to something new, fresh and anointed...I will not be doing myself, or my flock justice. Can I continue to read the same thing? Yes...but not to the detriment of reading, or experiencing new things.

I'm learning to go DEEPER with the Lord. I'm learning to dig into Scripture in places I've never dug. I'm understanding that this is most importantly for myself and God to connect closer, but also so I can lead these teens who have so much baggage down a deeper road with the Lord.

A shepherd can only lead their flock down roads they've already tread and no further. If I desire or expect my teens to grow...I should be growing too!

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GIVE AWAYS!!

Bible Study Magazine and Mars Hill are giving away 20 copies of Mark Driscoll’s new book, Vintage Church. Not only that, but they are also giving away five subscriptions to Bible Study Magazine and a copy of their Bible Study Library software! Enter to win on the Bible Study Magazine Mark Driscoll page, then take a look at all the cool tools they have to take your Bible study to the next level!

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The Echo Within- Book Review

• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: WaterBrook Press (January 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400074347
• ISBN-13: 978-1400074341

This was a book that took me by surprise. I was amazed at how candid, how authentic and how well done this book was. I was expecting something less and what I got was something more.

The Echo Within was Benson's way of sharing how he came upon his calling, His echo of the Word God had whispered into him from the beginning of his life. He shares his mistakes along the way, his triumphs and his surprises. His premise is that God has whispered a Word into each and everyone of us, a calling that is who we truly are and what we are made to do. Benson shares how his Word is and was to be a writer. He shares how he now, in hindsight sees the moments he felt the echo of that Word, but didn't realize it at the time.

Robert Benson takes the reader on a journey of his finding his Echo Within and shares how the reader too can enter into this deep understanding of the Echo Within that God has whispered into us.

For me, the most memorable moment in the book was Benson's discussion of his time at a Spiritual Retreat. He shares how this was a HUGE turning point in his life's journey and this resonates with me because I too went on a Spiritual Retreat and had a GREAT moment with the Lord.

I highly recommend this book to anyone. It is such an open, honest look into our souls, our callings and of course, the Echo Within in which God has whispered into all of us.

Following Benson's story will help the reader to get to know about their own Echo and their own calling.


To Purchase this book, go here: The Echo Within By Robert Benson

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Youth Ministry 3.0 (Post 2)

As I stated in my first post on this book (HERE), I am going to unpack further some of the ideas that Marko opens up in his book: Youth Ministry 3.0.

Today, I will deal with two: 1. Getting small; 2. Belonging.

Marko contends (rightly, I believe) that in order to meet this new wave of Youth Ministry, we have to have a "get small" attitude. This is a MAJOR shift within Youth Ministry, because it's has been (in the YM 2.0 mode) all about GETTING BIG!

I remember when I was a student doing things that were called: B.E.O (code for Big Event Outreach). These were the big deal outreaches where you get kids in, throw Jesus at them ad hope they come back. There was TONS of money spent, tons of hours planing and tons of people invited. The bigger, the better was the mindset. It was programming for the sake of programmimg in a lot of ways.

Sadly, what ended up happening was it seemed disingenuous, fake and all about numbers. Marko states in YM 3.0 that this obsession with numbers must CEASE.

I believe he's RIGHT. All this obsession with numbers has hurt Youth Ministry rather than help. It has caused Youth Leaders to be depressed, arrogant and jealous. It has caused the focus of Jesus to be transformed into productivity. It has taken the role of importance from kids knowing, loving and living for Jesus into getting bigger, better numbers of people into the ministry.

Getting small would help down the road of true discipleship as well as create a place where belonging can be felt.

When I asked my Sunday School class of Sr. & Jr. High boys: "Where do you feel you belong...or in other words where do you feel most like YOU?" I received tons of good answers. One kid said: "with my music friends, doing music". Another said "with my fourth period friends" still another said "stage crew". Lastly one student said "At lunch with my lunch friends". I guarantee that you'd have similar answers if you asked the question.

We NEED to notice something about these responses...does anyone see it? OK, I'll help you...they are all...SMALL GROUPS!

Getting small, creating ways to be small in a BIG group will help bring students into a place where they can say: "I Belong". The students didn't say "At School, with everyone" or "With everyone at church" they said micro-groups of certain people. If we're honest...we'd have a similar response ourselves. We feel belonging in smaller places...less places to get hurt..less places to have people know our business and less places to be truly known.

I will continue to unpack this stuff. However, I ask you, the reader whether you are teen, youth pastor, youth leader or none-of-the-above to interact with this. Tell me what you think....good, or bad...I want to know!

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The Power of Discussion

This week in Sr. High, we continued with our series in 1&2 Corinthians in chapter 12:12-31. I titled this section "The Unit" since it deals with being the Body of Christ, which is a unit.

This week was a different type of week for the Sr. Highers. Our "typical" schedule is like this: 7-7:35pm gather, chat, drink some sodas and get settled in. 7:40-8:10pm games, some silly, some over the top and some admittedly LAME. 8:10-8:30pm "the Talk", then from 8:30-9pm small groups.

This format has proven to be a good one...very Youth Ministry 2.0 though (to better understand YM 2.0, go HERE), I know. However, the introduction of small groups served as a catalyst for our YM 3.0 setting to begin to form. This week, I took a risk and had no games AT ALL and had them open their Bibles and discuss. Lo and Behold it worked! Instead of me "preaching" at them, we (all 16 of us) discussed IN DEPTH the meaning of 1 Corinthians 12:12-31.

The teens were hungry for this type of interaction with the Scriptures and even asked to extend the conversation into next week (This Sunday Night). They allowed myself and the other leaders to help guide some of the thoughts, but they dug deep down and wrestled with the core of this passage.

I admit that giving over to this type of style is HARD for me...mainly because I'm not the sole voice being heard (selfish, I know...read THIS) and because I'm not in control. I decided to attempt this new format because of reflections that I discussed HERE.

God is re-shaping me, and in turn re-shaping the way I do ministry...it's difficult to learn "new things" but the benefits far outweigh the difficulty of it all!

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Outlaw Marshal: Book Review

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books (January 6, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1601420544
• ISBN-13: 978-1601420541
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.2 x 0.9 inches

This was not my normal genre to read. The story was very intriguing as well catchy. The characters were believable for the most part, as was the setting. The authors obviously took extreme care at keeping the integrity of the historical atmosphere of the Old West. The themes, robberies, attitudes, killings and law system were all true to form as the Old West goes. My only qualm with this book was the seemed "forced" Jesus. Jesus was a definite presence within the text, real to the characters and the transformer of Whip. However, there are spots that I felt the authors said: "Oh no, Jesus wasn't in this sentence...lets plug him in!" This observation could only be the way I read it, but this is how I felt. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the presence, reality and saving grace of Jesus within the story...but the way he was plugged sometimes made the characters seem unrealistic.

The beauty of Jesus in this story is the reality that he transforms our lives! John Brockman "The Stranger" goes out on a hunt for a bad guy when he runs into another outlaw: Whip Langford. He tries to get Whip to see Jesus is the only way, but Whip doesn't want to hear it. Shortly, Whip sees Jesus and how he makes Brockman who he is. When Whip is accused of murder, he realises some things...mainly how important Christ is! Christ transforms this former outlaw and makes him a new creation!

Here is the "official" summary of the story:

A good deed grants outlaw Whipley Langford early release from prison and a friendship with Chief U.S. Marshal John Brockman. Another good deed (stopping thieves from robbing a train) gets Whip framed for murder and looking at life through a hangman’s noose. John arrives just in time to reveal the true murderers and lead Whip to Christ.

A new man and a fast draw, Whip becomes Brockman’s deputy. Life is still fast and dangerous, and there’s a pretty lady Whip would like to get to know better too. Before he admits his love, Whip is shot in a bank robbery. Survival looks slim until he awakens to hear his lady confess her love. Weeks later, they are married. (This is a beautiful piece of romance that should be read!)

Readers who are familiar with the Journeys of the Stranger and Angel of Mercy series reunite with well-loved characters John and Breanna Brockman. Western history buffs will enjoy a wholesome, fast-paced story where the Gospel is presented clearly. Christian readers will learn how to lean on the Lord in times of trial and non-Christians will have the opportunity to make Christ their Savior.

All in all this is a good book for people who enjoy this genre. Check it out for purchase here:

OUTLAW MARSHAL

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Life's Lessons (A Youth Pastor Confession) 2

As I have been taking time this weekend (amidst the crazy work schedule) I've set myself to introspection.

Maybe this is a shock to the world (I doubt it) but I, Marv Nelson am a person who sins. I sin. I've taken time to seek God on what drives my sinfulness, what drives my life and what drives my ministry.

During this time of connecting with the Spirit of God, asking Him for the answers to these questions, I've found out this simple truth: I AM SELFISH. That's right. I care about myself. Me.

My pride stems for selfishness. My people pleasing nature stems from selfishness. My lack of prayer for others and in general stems from selfishness. If it makes me look good...I'm in. If it takes time away from what I WANT TO DO...count me out. God pointed to a perfect moment just last week. I was watching my nephews. I received NEW books in the mail. I'm a book freak, I love to read and soak in knowledge. I watched my nephews, but kept eying the new pile of books, smelled the pages...then I put on Veggie Tales. I read, they watched. I see these little monkeys maybe once a month if I'm lucky and I was OK with letting them watch Veggie Tales while I read. Now I didn't let them do anything stupid. I didn't NOT pay them attention. BUT I still read. I even bragged to my Sister in Law that I read 40 pages.

That is a great picture of selfishness. If you've read the prequel to this blog, you'll see another great story of this selfishness.

I like to be in control. I like to be the one who puts all the little duckies in a row. I have a problem...I am Selfish. I have decided I want to Break this selfishness in my life. I don't want to have to be the controller. I don't want to be the one who is important. I don't want to be the guy who indulges his selfishness by reading while his nephews are hanging out with him. I don't want to be that guy anymore.

Will YOU pray for me?

How can I pray for you?

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Life's Lessons (A Youth Pastor Confession)

I had one of those conversations yesterday that suck. It stunk because I knew what the other person was saying was true. I was given some insight into some of my failings as a Youth Pastor, and the heart of what was said was dead right.

I'm a gifted preacher/teacher, so what happens with that is I am always trying to be heard. I want my sermons to be listened to and I rarely seek interaction from my crowd. I like the sound of my own voice so much that I neglect the needs of people to interact with what I'm teaching. Now, the conversation wasn't this frank but this is what I took from it. What was said was: "You continue to have people watch you do what you think you are good at". The person wasn't trying to be mean, in fact it was quite the opposite, he was attempting to point out that I may think I'm the best Youth preacher ever...but I'm not. He was saying that I need to delegate more, get kids involved with my lessons more and have others teach so I can watch them do something they're good at.

I confess this over a blog, Facebook and the rest of the Internet because I desire to repent. I want to be the best Youth Pastor, leader, shepherd I can be...which means I have to learn to delegate and take correction. A true leader can't continue to lead without correction. I can't always be Midas with the Golden Touch...sometimes I am Icarus with the wings made of wax. He made wings so he could fly to the sun. He was successful in making the wings, and they even let him fly...but they were wax. So when he got too close to the sun, the wings melted and he fell. Sometimes our wings are wax...that means we need to learn from our "falling out of the sky" times so we can fly higher. That is true leadership. Set of wings after set of wings, constantly flying and falling so God can make us better.

This is not easy for me. I hate being told I'm wrong. I hate introspection about something I'm not doing right. Most of all, I hate being real and honest about my failures, because I like people to think of me as some super amazing Youth Pastor guy who does nothing wrong. Well, let me tell you now: if you think that, I'm sorry but I'm NOT that guy.

I want to be teachable, learn able and usable. These are the kinds of people God uses. Look at the men in the Bible: Moses, David, Paul, Peter (and TONS more). All were amazing leaders...but they had their wings melt. God used Jethro to convict Moses of his poor delegation skills, telling him he'd never be able to continue doing what he was doing at the rate in which he was doing it. David had Nathan convict him of his hidden sin and David, a man after God's own Heart had his wings melt! Paul had Jesus blind him and tell him he was wrong in His theology. Peter had Jesus smack him upside the head more than once. He told him "Get behind me Satan" once even! However, all these men corrected their mistakes, learned from the "falling out of the sky" moment, got back up and flew higher.

Ministry is tough. Ministry is challenging and we'll never be Superman. I'm learning this, I think we all should. It's OK to fall out of the sky. It's OK to have our wings melt. We all must respond how God's men did...learn, change and fly again!

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Youth Ministry 3.0

I've finally read Marko's Manifesto of Youth Ministry. I've read snippets, interacted with blips (Youth Ministry---What Must Die) and enjoyed what I've read of Marko's ideas for his book Youth Ministry 3.0.
Now, having read the book entire, I want to share, work through and interact with the content. Being it's a "manifesto" this will take more than one post to do it the justice it deserves.

Marko's main premise is that Youth Ministry has been through three different "epochs" or phases in it's history and we are now in the third epoch: Youth Ministry 3.0. He describes his premise well and each epoch in quick succession, giving the reader a firm historical grounding for his new ideas for this third epoch and why we need to embrace, understand and work within it. What I enjoyed most about this book was it's direct approach to the matter of Youth Ministry. There was no attempt by Marko to sound eloquent or smart by adding extra chapters. He kept it frank, to the point and very concise. His book felt a lot like Phyllis Tickle's The Great Emergence in this. Both books are shorter than 150 pages, but are packed with great information that needs to be added to our lives in ministry NOW.

I think one of the most amazing things about this book is the interaction Marko got BEFORE publishing and while writing! Most guys don't do this...they like their own thoughts too much. Here Marko shows not only his humility but his willingness to collaborate with other Youth Workers in order to design the best possible description of this new wave: YM 3.0. I was sad only because I couldn't add my "two-sense" to the mix. I didn't start following his blog until the book was already in the works of publishing. However, I am grateful for this act. It also shows we as youth workers can't be on our own islands. Even Marko, the President of YS admits he needs help from other youth workers...what makes us think we can handle this new wave alone?

Before I continue to write, let me define (as Marko does) what Youth Ministry 3.0 is. Youth Culture has shifted. There are three main things that Youth have needed and still need today, each epoch has had its own focus however. YM 1.0 was Identity, 2.0 was Autonomy and 3.0 is Affinity (belonging). Marko states that we must understand that teens are looking for belonging. The old mind-set for YM (numbers driven, crazy BIG) must be left behind and the new mind-set (creating a space for small, intimate belonging) must be introduced and used.

I will unpack this further in my next post(s). Know that this book is definitely worth the read for ALL Youth Workers. It is informative, insightful and in my opinion right on! I did a "test" this Sunday by opening up the question at Sunday School: "Where do you feel you most BELONG?" and it was encouraging to say the least.

*GO HERE for the second post!*

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Thoughts on The Holy Spirit

It's amazing that God dwells among us. It's incredible how Spiritual we as humans are and how closely we can be to the Holy One. When I go through my daily life, I forget a lot how spiritual a being I am. I forget about the intimate relationship I have with the Spirit of God and I don't remember to stop and listen to Him.

When you stop to think of being a Spiritual being, being close to the Almighty God and the ramifications those realities have on our lives, it simply takes your breath away. A God so Holy, so Perfect desires...me, desires...you. He's not an egoist who needs our worship, he's a Father who desires our love. That statement alone should be enough to want to be with this God. He's powerful enough to demand we worship Him, yet loving enough to allow us to choose to or not.

The Spirit of God is such a mystery to us Humans. He enables us to do GREAT things. He enables us to Hear the Voice of God. He is the gift giver, the counselor, the mediator and the close Essence of God that we experience.

Why is it we neglect conversations about the Holy Spirit? Why do we forget to mention Him in our sermons? Why do we forget to wait on the Spirit of God?

The Gifts are REAL, the Giver is WILLING. We as God's Spiritual Beings miss out so much when we design our lives without the Spirit. I know I neglect Him way too often. There are gifts He has for me that I've not taken hold of yet. Our God is a good God who desires to be close...thus He sent His Holy Spirit.

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