Life's Lessons (A Youth Pastor Confession) 2

As I have been taking time this weekend (amidst the crazy work schedule) I've set myself to introspection.

Maybe this is a shock to the world (I doubt it) but I, Marv Nelson am a person who sins. I sin. I've taken time to seek God on what drives my sinfulness, what drives my life and what drives my ministry.

During this time of connecting with the Spirit of God, asking Him for the answers to these questions, I've found out this simple truth: I AM SELFISH. That's right. I care about myself. Me.

My pride stems for selfishness. My people pleasing nature stems from selfishness. My lack of prayer for others and in general stems from selfishness. If it makes me look good...I'm in. If it takes time away from what I WANT TO DO...count me out. God pointed to a perfect moment just last week. I was watching my nephews. I received NEW books in the mail. I'm a book freak, I love to read and soak in knowledge. I watched my nephews, but kept eying the new pile of books, smelled the pages...then I put on Veggie Tales. I read, they watched. I see these little monkeys maybe once a month if I'm lucky and I was OK with letting them watch Veggie Tales while I read. Now I didn't let them do anything stupid. I didn't NOT pay them attention. BUT I still read. I even bragged to my Sister in Law that I read 40 pages.

That is a great picture of selfishness. If you've read the prequel to this blog, you'll see another great story of this selfishness.

I like to be in control. I like to be the one who puts all the little duckies in a row. I have a problem...I am Selfish. I have decided I want to Break this selfishness in my life. I don't want to have to be the controller. I don't want to be the one who is important. I don't want to be the guy who indulges his selfishness by reading while his nephews are hanging out with him. I don't want to be that guy anymore.

Will YOU pray for me?

How can I pray for you?