The past couple of weeks have been that way for me. I feel a little beat up, bruised and banged up. I feel as if I could be doing something better with the ministry, yet it still seems to be slipping into chaos.
God has been doing some amazing things: we've grown! Students are hearing the Word preached and some 19 kids have accepted Christ this year! Those are some sweet, recordable things in ministry. Some would call them down right milestones.
Yet, we are in a hurting place. We lack leaders and with an influx of students, especially inner-city students, this lack becomes a hindrance. My leaders have been hanging tough but I know it's been hard for them to come and not feel overwhelmed. I know some Wednesdays they may not want to come, but know they can't not come or we'll be lacking that much more on a Youth Group night.
This tension has been killing me because I deeply care for my leaders and desire them to love what they do, and I desire to see God grow the ministry so that many more students can hear the Gospel. I wish I had a manual that said: Here's how it's gotta go. Yet, no such manual exists.
What's worse is when someone tries to lead me down a path of correction I get prideful and feel attacked rather than helped. I know I need to grow, I know what I'm doing isn't always 100% effective and things have got to change in order to make things work better and for kids to desire to come, as well as the leaders to feel blessed it what they're doing.
I am praying for God to show up in a mighty way and I felt led to share with my leaders what's been going on inside of me. Below is the email I just sent to them:
Hey Team,
The past couple of weeks have been a bit rough. I am under no illusion that Wednesday Night Blast has been a walk in the park for either you or myself. We have all been pulling through and making due with few leaders and a growing population of kids. The reality is we need more leaders and some of you may need more from me as well, and if that is the case I am sorry. I feel as though Student Ministries in a lot of ways is under spiritual attack and I think we need to pray for one another and for the ministry. I am praying for more leaders and for myself to be more assertiveness in kicking kids out and making examples of those who are not doing as they should. I will also be telling a few Wednesday Night students to shift from Wed to Tuesday so we can alleviate some of the pressure. I really covet your prayers because I desire for Middle School to be a place where 1.) Kids come to know Christ and desire to make him Known and 2.) Where those ministering within the ministry feel blessed in doing so and don’t feel like a truck hit them every time we have Wed. Blast.
I deeply care and love all of you and if there is ever a time you are feeling overwhelmed or have ideas on how we can run things more efficiently I do desire your input. I desire to be open in how we can make Blast fit those 2 desires I have (and I believe you have as well) for it to fit. Today, my prayer time is for you and this ministry. Lastly, I do truly desire to start that prayer time for the ministry I know a couple of you who have been showing up early to pray and if you can make it for prayer, I think that will truly help as well. Lovin’ all of you!
I know God is going to show up. We need to cast our cares and prayers unto Him and he will produce what is needed. It's a time for me to be "Taking My Licks" but I know God is the Victor because he was Victorious on that Cross!
In broken times the light of Christ shines the most! Gideon's pitchers had to be broken before the light shone forth and the Midianites were sorely defeated. We are like the pitchers of clay. When we are broken, the light of the Gospel will shine outward and the battle will be won. May ways to apply this, but it has helped me when facing what you are describing in this post! Stay in touch!
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