I am currently reading a book called: Hero: Becoming the Man She Desires by Fred and Jasen Stoeker. It is about men (geared toward teens and college age men) being pure until marriage.
Of course, I agree with the basic premise and a ton of what the author's say is true about sexuality and purity...
However, it is a book that will ultimately FAIL at reaching teenage/college age boys with the message of purity. It is a legalistic, almost Amish view of life, that will NOT resonate with today's teen, nor college age person.
The authors are constantly saying: you need to be a man and choose purity. Stop being a sex pervert and choose to be pure...so you can be a Hero for God.
The author Fred hails his son Jasen as the example for all men to be pure. He lifts him up to demi-god status describing how his son is a victor over sex and it's strongholds.
The main problem with this book (so far at least) is that it is all "works based" as well as "shame based". Saying you need to work on it, or else you won't be a Hero. All in an effort to get young men to choose purity. So far (50 pages in) the book has not ONCE said that you need God in order to do this. In fact it has said that a real man of God can do it just by dedicating oneself to being pure. The authors have said that it's all you, being a hero for God. YOU choose, YOU walk away from and YOU are a Hero...
I don't know about you, but I can't live the Christian life without the Spirit of God living inside me, making me Holy. If it were left to my own choosing, I would not choose God...yet His Spirit residing inside me has changed me and it is His power that I choose what's right...not my own.
Teens need a different message about sex. Purity, YES, but not shame based, nor works based teaching! That will drive them further into sex...not closer to purity.
Imagine a book written to smokers. Imagine the author says this: "Don't you oh smoker know that smoking can harm you, even kill you? It's bad for you! You can choose NOT to smoke. Just stop already! Oh and if your looking for an example, my son has never smoked. He always walked away from smoking and cigarettes. He's a Hero for God because he's chosen not to smoke. You should choose not to smoke, or stop smoking now so you too (like my son) can become a hero for God."
I know this is NOT the author's intent. However, if they were students of the culture they were writing to...they'd know that this book would sound like this to a typical teenage guy (Christian or not).
I'm not saying I know the right way to teach purity...because I don't. I simply know that this is not the way. Teen sexuality is a HUGE issue for us as Youth Pastors today, I agree. We need to collaborate together on how to teach this message with the power of the Gospel...not the power of self-reliance.
What do you think Pastors? How can we teach purity in today's Youth Culture?
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6 years ago
"Romans 5:20 20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase."
ReplyDelete"Romans 7:7-11 Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet." 8 But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9 Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10 I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. 11 For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death."
Law/Gospel 101: The law cannot engender what it demands. When he urges for purity apart from the Spirit's empowerment/relationship with Christ he's actually pushing people further from the purity he is preaching...